Caregivers of homeless individuals and families work tirelessly to ensure their clients’ needs are met. This can be both rewarding and draining. Tension often exists between feeling inspired by our work and feeling frustrated about the many things we cannot control. It is not unusual to feel stressed and weighed down by working with people experiencing homelessness.
To understand self-care, it is helpful to consider what it is not: Self-care is not an “emergency response plan” to be activated when stress becomes overwhelming. Self-care is not about acting selfishly (“It’s all about me!”). Self-care is not about doing more or adding more tasks to an already overwhelming “to-do” list. Healthy self-care can renew our spirits and help us become more resilient. Self-care is most effective when approached proactively, not reactively. Think of self-care as having three basic aspects: awareness, balance, and connection—the “ABC’s” of self-care.
AWARENESS: Self-care begins in stillness. By quieting our busy lives and entering into a space of solitude, we can develop an awareness of our own needs, and then act accordingly. This is the contemplative way of the desert, rather than the constant activity of the city. Too often we act first, without true understanding, then wonder why we feel more burdened than relieved.
BALANCE: Self-care is a balancing act. It includes balancing action and mindfulness. This balance guides decisions about embracing or relinquishing certain activities, behaviors, or attitudes. It informs how we give attention to the physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and social aspects of our own being. In other words, how much time we spend working, playing, or resting. Think of this healthy prescription for balanced daily living: eight hours of work, eight hours of play, and eight hours of rest!
CONNECTION: Healthy self-care does not take place solely within oneself. It involves being connected in meaningful ways with others and to something larger. We are interdependent social beings. We grow and thrive through connections that occur in friendships, family, social groups, nature, recreational activities, spiritual practices, therapy, and a myriad of other ways. There is no formula for self-care. Each of our “self-care plans” will be unique and change over time. As we seek renewal in our lives and work, we must listen well to our own bodies, hearts, and minds as well as to trusted friends. Caregivers should rely on other adults and support systems to help meet our emotional needs so we have enough energy to support the homeless men, women, and children who are stressed.